• UFC 324 – Matchups, Bets, Thoughts

    Like Arnold Schwarzenegger hitting a set of lat pull downs… WE ARE SO BACK.

    After a (much needed) six week hiatus, we finally have UFC fights in our life again. There’s an interim title fight, several other bangers, and we get to watch Ateba Gautier absolutely nuke someone. There’s a lot to look forward to, so let’s jump in.

    (Bets listed at the bottom, if you’re in a rush).

    Justin Gaethje (+200) vs Paddy Pimblett (-240)

    My initial thoughts are to back Gaethje here, though I’m not sure if I’ll end up getting there. I think this fight is closer to 50/50 than the odds suggest, so there may be some value in getting Gaethje at +200.

    Who’s the better striker? Gaethje. He also has more power. And do we think Paddy will be able to get this to the ground and style on him? I honestly don’t think so. What’s Paddy’s win condition if he can’t get it to the ground? He could outwork Gaethje, but I don’t think he wants to be in a pure striking match.

    And let’s look at recent competition. For Gaethje:

    • Rafael Fiziev x2
    • Max Holloway
    • Dustin Poirier
    • Charles Oliveira
    • Michael Chandler
    • Khabib

    For Paddy:

    • Michael Chandler
    • King Bobby Green (washed)
    • Tony Ferguson (washed)
    • Jared Gordon (split decision win, that he actually lost)
    • Jordan Leavitt

    This is a huge step up in competition for Paddy. There’s no meat on the bone at -240. You could get cute and play his submission prop, but that’s only +140, and I can’t envision a fight where Paddy’s able to dominate Gaethje and control him on the ground.

    It’s Gaethje at +200 or pass, and ultimately I think I’m electing to pass. That staff infection on his neck is disgusting, first and foremost, but also enough for me to lay off.

    Sean O’Malley (-210) vs Song Yadong (+175)

    Man am I excited for this scrap. Two technical fighters – so it could make for a banger or it could end up being boring. High level MMA, I’m pumped either way!

    I can’t decide who I’d want to back though, which means I probably need to just walk away. 

    Sean’s length and reach should cause a whole lot of problems for Song. I think he’ll sit on the outside and try to sharpshoot him the entire match. Song on the other hand has the wild card of being able to mix in some grappling. In a close fight, if he’s able to get inside and get O’Malley to the ground, he can easily ride out a decision win.

    So Sean’s the better striker, Song may have a wild card. How will it play out? I think I’ve seen enough takedown defense out of Sean in his two fights against Merab and in his fight against Petr Yan. Merab is an absolute goblin and, while he was able to take Suga down a good amount, he never really controlled him for overly long periods of time.

    In my opinion, Sean gets this done at about a 60/40 clip, which is basically right where the odds lie. Song by sub at +2500 caught my attention, but I can’t pull the trigger.

    This fight is priced correctly, in my opinion, and for that reason I’m out. Just gonna sit back and enjoy this one.

    Waldo Cortes-Acosta (-320) vs Derrick Lewis (+260)

    Having a tough time separating what I think is going to happen, compared to what I want to happen.

    What I think is going to happen, is Waldo is going to use his length and boxing skills to skirt the outside and jab the Black Beast to death. Waldo is way more refined, and technical. And also not 41 years old. 

    What the entire world wants to happen, is to see Lewis send him to the shadow realm and take his shorts off for a post-fight interview. I mean, who doesn’t love Derrick Lewis. The question is: can that happen?

    Absolutely it can. He’s 41, but power is the last thing to go. One shot from Lewis will put your lights out. If he’s able to get inside and land a haymaker, WCA is going to be in for a world of pain.

    Now, I’m not saying it’s going to happen. I’m saying it could happen. Any Derrick Lewis fight could play out like that. So in that sense, no way in hell would I ever lay the -310 price tag on Waldo. I think that’s absolutely insane.

    But I’ll tell you what. Life’s too short not to play Derrick Lewis KO props. And it’s nice and juicy too, sitting at +350. I will have a small wager on that. I’ll take the bait.

    Bets: Derrick Lewis by KO +350

    Rose Namajunas (+260) vs Natalia Silva (-320)

    It’s Natty Ice all day for me in this one. I think she’s the real deal, and I’m hopping on this rocket ship until she let’s me down.

    Meanwhile, Rose has been meh recently. Taking a look at her record, she has only lost to the best of the best – Blanchfield, Fiorot, Esparza. Joking about Esparza, but she’s shown she can hang with the best. I just think her moving up to 125 was not the best decision. She gets out muscled and outsized.

    So give me Natalia Silva moneyline here at -320. Her to win by decision is only -200. I’ll lay the extra juice, just in case. I’ll use this as a parlay piece in a few other bets.

    Bets: Natalia Silva ML (-320), Parlay Piece

    Jean Silva (-240) vs Arnold Allen (+200)

    I’ll be honest. I can’t figure Jean Silva out. Not yet, at least. I think we all have this image of him in our head as an absolute psycho world beater. And to be fair… he is exactly that. He just kind of stands around too much for my liking. He’ll stand there and dap up his opponent and be buddy-buddy. And then usually he’ll knock your lights out right after..

    But I just don’t have a full grasp on how good he is. I do know that Arnold Allen is as solid as they come. He’s always game, and he’ll fight for your dollar.

    I’m going to stay away from this fight and just enjoy it, and learn more about Silva. Allen at +200 is really enticing, but I’m trying to be more selective and patient this year with my bets. We’ll see how long that lasts, but for now, I’m out.

    Prelims

    No surprises here, but Umar is an absolute lock against Figgy. At -1500 you’re not really adding much to your parlays though. I’m considering playing him inside the distance at +120. Figgy is prone to gassing out late. Going to have to think about that one.

    I’m also super excited to watch Ateba Gautier fight. I don’t know a whole lot about Pulyaev. I do know that Gautier is a physical specimen, to the likes of Francis Ngannou. Sitting at -950, again, you won’t be adding much to your parlays by adding him. I’m going to see if my book has the “Gone in 60 seconds” prop – which is Gautier to win by KO in the first minute. If it’s juicy enough, I’ll fire.

    I will be backing Modestas Bukauskas. Wish me luck. My rationale is that Nikita Krylov has looked completely washed as of late, getting knocked out in his last two fights (after a 2 year layoff). If you want a fun rabbit hole to fall in, try to figure out what he was doing in those 2 years. I’ve heard rumors that he was fighting in the Russian-Ukrainian war. Whatever he was doing, he has looked awful since he returned. So Bukauskas moneyline at -133 is a play for me.

    Some really weird sh** going on in the Alex Hernandez vs Michael Johnson fight. Johnson was a +160 underdog as of yesterday. This morning he’s sitting at -110. Send Kash Patel to investigate this. Kidding… But what does someone know? Too sketchy for me, I’m out.

    I’ll also be playing the over 1.5 rounds in the Hokit vs Freeman fight at -180. A wrestler vs a Greco Roman specialist. Neither of these guys are particularly great strikers, and both should have decent takedown defense. I can see this being a heavyweight slog, and if I’m going to watch a heavyweight slog, I may as well make some money off it.

    Admittedly, I don’t know anything about Ty Miller. But people I respect and trust say he’s the real deal. So I’ll be adding his moneyline into a few parlays, around -650.

    Bets

    Methods:

    • Derrick Lewis by KO (+350)
    • Umar Nurmagomedov ITD (+120)

    Moneylines:

    • Modestas Bukauskas ML (-133)

    Parlay Pieces:

    • Natalia Silva ML (-320)
    • Ateba Gautier by KO (-475)
    • Denzel Freeman vs Josh Hokit over 1.5 Rounds (-180)
    • Ty Miller ML (-625)

    Fight Predictions:

    • Justin Gaethje
    • Sean O’Malley
    • Derrick Lewis
    • Natalia Silva
    • Jean Silva
    • Umar Nurmagomedov
    • Ateba Gautier
    • Modestas Bukauskas
    • Charles Johnson
    • Michael Johnson
    • Josh Hokit
    • Ty Miller

  • It’s been a while!

    Sorry that this hasn’t been a weekly endeavor, the continuous losses by 35 points each week took a toll on me. I’ve spent most of the fall indoors and depressed, wondering when the Lambs will turn things around.

    A 5-8 season really takes a toll on a man.

    Regular sessions with my therapist have helped. She regularly tells me things like “It’s just a game” and “Aaron Rodgers has had an average ADOT of 6.87 yards in his last 3 games and you still started DK Metcalf? You’re bringing this pain upon yourself“.

    But at the end of the last session, she mentioned something that brought my will to live back into full force. After discussing my deep‑rooted fear of intimacy and emotional vulnerability, she whispered to me: “You know, the Lambs aren’t technically eliminated form playoff contention yet.”

    SO WITH THAT WE ARE SO BACK.

    Let’s take a look at all the possible playoff scenarios so you know what you’re playing for in week 14.

    NOTE: The top 2 finishers in the regular season will earn a bye week for the playoffs. This is a gigantic advantage, as you only need to win 2 games to win the championship – compared to having to win 3 if you don’t get the bye.

    # Bye Week

    We have 3 teams fighting for those 2 spots – Kade, Grace, and Calli.

    Kade’s Path to a Bye

    Kade controls his own destiny here – a win and he’s got it. He’ll lock up the #1 overall seed if any of the following happen:

    • Win against Rachael.
    • Loss by Grace AND Calli.

    If he loses against Rachael, he will need one of the following to happen:

    • Grace to lose.
    • Calli to lose.
    • Calli to win and not outscore him by 29.36 points.

    Grace’s Path

    Grace basically has two paths. If she wins, she’ll get a bye.

    If she loses, she needs the following to happen:

    • Calli to lose.

    Calli’s Path

    Calli needs a win to get the bye. If she loses, she will be the #3 seed.

    If she wins, she’ll need one of the following to happen:

    • Kade to lose AND to outscore Kade by 29.36 points.
    • Grace to lose.

    Clinched Spots

    Gigi and Shaun have both clinched a spot in the playoffs. It doesn’t say that Shaun has clinched on ESPN, but it would require Alex or I to outscore her by over 150 points on Sunday – which is impossible.

    So congrats to you two!

    You both could finish anywhere between the #4 and #6 spot, depending on how some things play out. So don’t rest the starters, it’s still important to get the W this weekend!

    Last Playoff Spot

    Technically, Rachael is still alive and eligible to make the playoffs. But she would need to win, have both Alex and I lose, and outscore both of us by about 90 points. Good luck, Rachael!

    Realistically, the last spot comes down to 4th and 20 and SAD LAMB NOISES.

    Alex’s Path

    If Alex wins, he’s in.

    If he loses, he needs either of the following to happen:

    • John to lose.
    • John to win AND John not to outscore him by 20 points.

    # John’s Path

    Basically the opposite of Alex’s. John needs all the following to happen to make the playoffs:

    • Alex loses to Calli.
    • John wins against Luke.
    • John outscores by Alex by 20 points.

    Alternatively, John can also make the playoffs if:

    • He abuses the commissioner settings and boots Grace from the league.

    Slim chances but the Lambs are going out swinging!

    The Rest

    Drew and Luke, good effort this year boys. Things didn’t really shake out the way you wanted, but you’re still competing! Remember, the loser has a punishment this year. So make sure to set your lineups this week, and pay attention for the Toilet Bowl playoffs.

  • Week 6 in the books! And that means we’re officially 33% through the NFL season. 9 more weeks of fantasy matchups before the playoffs begin. Still plenty of time to make some noise. πŸ‘€

    Weekly Winners

    • Rachael (The Curse of BaBa)
    • Luke (Hotties ONLY)
    • Gigi (GIGI19)
    • Calli (Ayahuasca Aaron)
    • Grace (my njigba)

    Weekly Losers

    • John (Lambunctious) πŸ˜”
    • Drew (Let Him Cook)
    • Shaun (Let’s Get Krafty)
    • Alex (4th and 20)
    • Kade (Tua Girls One Kupp)

    Summary

    Despite a very, very nice request not to, Rachael decided to spoil all of John’s happiness for the week. Things are going from bad to worse for SAD LAMB NOISES. A desperation move with the matchup coming down to the wire, they dropped Dalton Kincaid to try to get some production from the TE spot. Unsurprisingly, they got a whopping 0.5 points from Cole Kmet. The Curse of BaBa gets a huge victory to move to 3-3 on the season, beating SAD LAMB NOISE by a score of 91.84 – 84.96. The Lambs move to 2-4.

    In a potential battle for the first overall pick next year, Drew put up maybe the lowest score I have ever seen in fantasy football. Drew’s going to have to take a long hard look in the mirror after this one, as he had two people in his lineup on a bye, and Josh Jacobs on the bench. Luke gets his first victory of the year, and we no longer have any winless teams! Hotties ONLY beats Let Him Cook 116.08 – 41.44. Both teams sit at 1-5 on the season.

    Gigi gets a huge win this week, despite not having a QB. Rostering both of the 2 highest scoring running backs in the league this week (Cam Skattebo and Rico Dowdle) certainly helped! Shaun put up a valiant effort, but it’s tough to win when you get 146 points dropped on your head. GIGI19 beats Let’s Get Krafty 146 – 100.7. Both teams move to 2-4.

    Grace just keeps on rolling despite getting absolutely nothing from her TE’s. She’s sitting in a good spot at 5-1, though she may temporarily be without Puka moving forward, as he left the game with an injury. Alex moves to 3-3 on the year, as my nji*** beats 4th and 20 by a score of 129.32 – 88.46.

    DOWN GOES KADE. The perfect season is no more for him, as Calli keeps her perfect season alive. Is this a potential superbowl matchup??? Ayahuasca Aaron comes out on top, winning 128.3 – 95.25 against Tua Girls One Kupp.

    A Safe Space

    How’s everyone feeling about your team this year? Anyone feeling really happy with their team? Anyone hate their team and contemplating never playing fantasy football again? This is a safe space. Let your frustrations out.

    I’ll start: Fuck you, Rachael.

  • We received your feedback and took note of the animosity in the group chat after missing the Week 3 Recap.

    Let’s clear the air.

    We did everything we could to pump out a recap for Week 3. Unfortunately, we couldn’t pass concussion protocol (in other words: I worked til 6PM every night). Thus, we couldn’t find the time to give you all what you deserve – the week 3 recap.

    With that, I offer you two good pieces of news:

    • I elected to skip the week 3 recap entirely, rather than sending out AI slop. You’re welcome.
    • The week 4 recap is LIVE and we are BACK.

    Weekly Winners

    • Eggs
    • Cheese
    • Milk
    • Strawberries

    Whoops… wrong list.

    • Drew (Let Him Cook)
    • Grace (my njigba)
    • Kade (Tua Girls One Kupp)
    • Calli (Ayahuasca Aaron)
    • Alex (4th and 20)

    Weekly Losers

    • John (Lambunctious) πŸ˜”
    • Shaun (Let’s Get Krafty)
    • Luke (Hotties Only)
    • Gigi (GIGI19)
    • Rachael (The Curse of BaBa)

    Summary

    Drew and John battled in a matchup that both teams desperately needed to win. And boy do I need to air some grievances. I stayed up and watched both the Jets vs Dolphins game (puke), and the Bengals vs Broncos game (puke x2), in hopes that my team could mount a comeback. With 4 minutes left in the 4th quarter, we got it to a score of 112.88 – 112.9. So close we could almost taste it. Ultimately, Tee Higgins got 1 more catch and Let Him Cook defeated Lambunctious by a score of 114.1 – 112.88. Big win for Drew as he steps off the winless bus. Both teams move to 1-3 on the season.

    Grace’s beef with TJ Hockenson continues for another week. Thankfully her WRs came to play – with Puka and Pickens scoring 29.5 and 29.4 points, respectively. “Puka and Pickens” sounds like it could have been a cartoon that aired on Cartoon Network 20 years ago. Anywho, Shaun’s newly named team put up a good fight, but fell a little short. Let’s Get Krafty moves to 1-3 on the season, while my nji*** moves to 3-1. Grace wins 132 – 129.76.

    CAN ANYBODY BEAT KADE STEINBRECHER? Even on a down week, Kade squeaks by in a victory over Luke. Tua Girls One Kupp keeps the undefeated season alive and moves to 4-0 on the season. Luke’s team is still looking for their first win, and sit at 0-4. Kade wins 96.96 – 84.48.

    CAN ANYBODY BEAT CALLISTA CAIN? Gigi tried this week, but fell short. Calli’s team is looking stacked, as show moves to 4-0 on the year. Gigi drops to 1-3, and looks for a WR1 replacement as she loses Nabers for the year πŸ˜”. Ayahuasca Aaron keeps the good vibes rolling and beats GIGI19 129.2 – 86.58

    Alex gets a bittersweet victory this week against Rachael. Positives: Ashton Jeanty decided to play football! Negatives: Lamar Jackson may be on the shelf with a hamstring injury, and AJ Brown is sending out cryptic tweets. A big victory this week moves him to 3-1, and gives him some wiggle room. Rachael looks to bounce back next week, and moves to 2-2 on the year. 4th and 20 defeats The Curse of BaBa 125.28 – 103.92.

    Moving Forward

    Week 5 will be a real test of relationships. We have:

    • Drew vs Shaun
    • Rachael vs Kade
    • Calli vs Alex

    Who’s going to walk away victorious? Who’s going to be sleeping on the couch? Who’s turn is it to mow the lawn? Find out in Week 5!

    Also, I’ve decided to change my team name to SAD LAMB NOISES until they can get their act together. In the words of the great (?) Cam Ward: “If we keeping it a buck right now, we ass”. Not even exaggerating, he actually said that. Hopefully the change in names can bring this team to life again.

  • Back in the saddle again. How we feeling after week 2?

    Weekly Winners

    • Alex (4th and 20)
    • Kade (Tua Girls One Kupp)
    • Calli (Ayahuasca Aaron)
    • Rachael (The Curse of BaBa)
    • Gigi (GIGI19)

    Weekly Losers

    • John (Lambunctious) πŸ˜”
    • Drew (Let Him Cook)
    • Grace (my njigba)
    • Shaun (Stafford Infection)
    • Luke (Hotties Only)

    Summary

    A lot of preseason experts had Lambunctious finishing the year undefeated. 4th and 20 took that personally. A late sweat from Justin Herbert isn’t enough, as Alex defeats John and both teams move to 1-1 on the year. Final score: 92.7 to 87.48.

    Find someone that loves you the way Kade loves Rachael Herrick Bijan Robinson. Drew gets big games from his RBs, but not much from his TE and FLEX. Kade moves into first place in the league while Drew slides to 0-2. Tua Girls One Kupp defeats Let Him Cook 101.11 to 88.82.

    Though they both are advocates against gun violence, Calli and Grace found themselves in an absolute shootout this week. A breakout performance from Ja’Marr Chase and solid performances all around sealed the deal and helped Calli get the win. Grace has 99 problems and 2 of them include TJ Hockenson and the Broncos defense. Calli moves to an impressive 2-0, Grace to 1-1. Ayahuasca Aaron defeats my njigba 116.98 to 112.44.

    Look away Shaun.. Tough to win when your opponent drops 141.4 points. Rachael’s team goes OFF. Amon St Brown is our league’s player of the week with a monster game with 9 catches, 115 yards, 3 touchdowns. Both teams move to 1-1, as The Curse of BaBa defeats Stafford Infection by a score of 141.4 to 103.72.

    Friends? Former coworkers? Fortnite partners? Fantasy Football enemies? All the above! Gigi gets a HUGE game from Malik Nabers and takes down Luke, who has to hit the waiver wire hard this week with an injured QB and an empty bench slot on his roster. Gigi moves to 1-1, while look searches for his first when at 0-2. GIGI19 defeats Hotties ONLY (Cat Emoji) by a score of 96.3 to 79.84.

    League Punishment

    Since we never decided on an actual punishment this year, we are going to go with the punishment that my other league is implementing.

    The person who finishes in last place this year, has to take a road trip of at least 4 hours and return home with a souvenir for the winner. Additionally, the loser has to make a vlog and post it to YouTube for the group chat to see (5-10 minutes, at least).

  • The temperature is dropping, Target is putting out Halloween decorations, and my girlfriend is asking me to go to pumpkin patches. Fall is in the air.

    And you know what that means – FOOTBALL IS BACK.

    So welcome back everyone! Week 1 is officially in the books and our season is underway.

    Some of you started off strong and on the right foot. Others… not so much.

    Let’s take a look out how the week played out.

    Weekly Winners

    • Tua Girls One Kupp
    • my njigba
    • Lambunctious
    • Stafford Infection
    • Ayahuasca Aaron

    Weekly Losers

    • 4th and 20
    • The Curse of BaBa
    • GiGi19
    • Hotties ONLY
    • Let Him Cook

    Summary

    If you were looking for a close game, you came to the wrong place. Not many nail-biters this week, as the average margin of victory was 21.86 points.

    Lambunctious walks away with the biggest blowout of the week, defeating GiGi19 by a score of 112.72 – 82.22.

    Let Him Cook was doing anything but cooking, as they scored the least amount of points this week. A defensive battle, Ayahausca Aaron was victorious, winning by a score of 89.82 – 78.08. There’s always next week, Drew!

    Tua Girls One Kupp showed up in a big way, scoring the leagues most points this week. A potential Super Bowl matchup, Tua Girls ended up beating 4th and 20 by a score of 121.38 – 100.26.

    In a battle of Prarie Du Chien, my njigba ended up defeating The Curse of BaBa by 30.2 points. The final score was 118.48 – 88.22.

    And finally, Stafford Infection took down Hotties ONLY by a score of 95.96 to 80.22. It will be a mighty tall task to beat Stafford Infection if Josh Allen plays like that all year…

    I’m being called to do actual work now, so let’s wrap this up. See you guys in Week 2!

    Poll

    Should Grace be allowed to have that team name?

    • No
    • No
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